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Submissive slave with a BDSM belt for dedicace.
A submissive explores the piquant terrain of the surrendering of power. For those for whom this kind submlssive power exchange is a lifestyle expression, the scope of dominance and submission excercised may be quite extensive. I want to explore those differences here and illustrate why I believe that a submissive and a slave are two entirely different creatures, as unlike as apples and oranges.
Definitions Suhmissive start this conversation I will offer a definition of submissive and slave first put forth by Steven Davis on the old alt. That said: A submissive renews the ssubmissive to submit every time a demand is levied upon hir. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon hir to obey.
Training My Submissive Slave: How I took control of Sarah
I am fond of this definition because it describes not only my personal experience of submission and slavery, skave with some minimal qualification also applies to every submissive or slave relationship I have known of. To elaborate, then Submission At the heart of submission is the choice to submit and the option to say "No".
The submissive decides how much authority sie will cede to another, how much control sie will bow to, and what aspects of hir life sie will surrender to salve dominant's command. Submissive power exchange is about choice: about the option to decide how one feels about a demand and what one is going to submsisive about it. At any point that the sub is not comfortable with this arrangement, it is within hir rights to say "No, I'm not going to do that", and this becomes a al to the couple that they need to renegotiate something.
It does not completely derail the power dynamic between them. A submissige chooses to submit and has the option to salve 'no' in at least one aspect of hir life. I contend that this is not counter to the definition I offer above but a special subset thereof: even for such a closely-controlled submissive, there remains some area of hir life or aspect of hir person where sie retains autonomy, or where it sslave hir option to decide if sie wishes to submit in the moment.
In short: a submissive chooses to submit and has the option in some area or another submisaive say "no" to a dominant command. Slavery How, then, does consensual slavery differ from submission? First and foremost, slavery hinges upon a commitment to obedience. The slave does not revisit issues such as "should I submit? Will I say yes or no? Secondly, in consensual slavery a person gives themselves over to the control of another as completely as is humanly possible.
This means not only a high degree of obedience, but that there is actually a chattel property context to the relationship.
I refer not to a legal relationship, of course, but to a mutual understanding of ownership and subissive status that arises between the parties. While both slaves and submissives are often fondly referred to as "property", in the sense of consensual slavery the slave becomes literally by mutual agreement the property of the Owner.
It is not unheard of for slaves to be sold by an Owner and to go submixsive to their new Master or Mistress. A slave commits to obey.
The Ultimate Guide to Being a Submissive - Dom Sub Living
A 'no' becomes a dealbreaker in a way it can never be for a submissive. A "No" from a slave is a terminal deal-breaker in a way that it is not for a submissive. One analogy I offer is this: a submissive is like an employee in the workplace, who can protest directives and hope to resolve conflict with management the dominant.
A slave, on slqve other hand, is like a soldier who, if sie disobeys orders, has put hirself in a position of mutiny with much more dire consequences to hir relationship to the military the Owner than if sie were a civilian disputing a less-controlling authority. Earlier I said, "The submissive decides how much authority sie will cede to slxve, how much control sie will bow to, and what aspects of hir life sie will surrender to the xlave command. There is much more to be said about the characteristics and nuances of consensual slavery, which I get into in other essays dedicated to the topic.
But I believe the above serves to illustrate the key differences in the submission and obedience factors of sub and slave. Not a Spectrum Submissives are commonly viewed as falling upon a spectrum.
At one end is one who submits very ssubmissive or only in scene-delimited context; at the other, one who submits as a constant in a lifestyle context and is very controlled, and everyone else falls somewhere in between. A big error occurs, I believe, when people assume that a slave is simply another point on that spectrum, a more extreme form of submissive than is found in the ordinary range of submission. I think this is to fundamentally misunderstand the internal dynamics of slavery.
A slave is not an ueber-sub, someone "more" submissive than the "ordinary" submissive.
The Slave and Submissive Quandary: How Do Subs Differ from Slaves in the BDSM Community?
For that matter, a slave may not even be submissive at all. Slavery is not about submission or submissive behaviors. It is about obedience. There are other characteristics unique to slaves that distinguish them from submissive mentalities and reflect a different kind of internal wiring.
I will touch upon those in other essays as well. It has erotic juice for those who would be love slaves or service slaves. It has cultural charge around the non-consensual chattel slavery history experienced by blacks in this country. It is shunned by those who do not like the cultural baggage, and embraced by those who like the eroticism that the word suggests. Slavery as I use it here and as much most? It is a narrowly defined construct with fairly specific meaning at its core.
Many people refer to themselves as slaves because they enjoy erotic or other types of control on a limited basis, as long as it doesn't interfere too much with other areas of their life they hold off-limits. And the more controlled a submissive is, the more that person's state resembles that of a slave, and so may be commonly referred to as "slave" without fine distinctions being made in conversation.
But when we are speaking of degree of control, a slave is someone very specific. Words and Their Meanings It is the nature of popular jargon, perhaps, that words like "slave" will be adopted by those who find it sexy or apropo to some aspect of their lives, and the distinctions between that and "submissive" will blur. Submisxive have offered this discussion to distinguish beween key elements of slavd as contrasted to slavery.