Karin

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About

It turned out to be a disaster, and within a year she was back home with her parents. For 10 soutyall now she has been hoping to find another husband, but has reached a bitter conclusion: most Sikh men don't want to marry a divorcee.

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I asked the man in charge of the Hounslow temple's matrimonial service, Mr Grewal, to explain this to me and he told me it wasn't his choice - it was the men looking for a bride, and their parents, who said they didn't want a divorcee. But actually Sikhs do get divorced sometimes, just like everyone else.

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Some of those who admit to having been divorced may have remarried, but I'm quite sure that a larger tick the "single" box even though they are divorced - it's such a taboo. As divorce becomes more common, attitudes will most likely change. Younger people have told me it's not such a big issue for them.

But in my generation, even people who have divorced sisters or daughters in their own family will still judge another divorced woman outside their family. These are the kinds of things people say soutgall me: "You are too old to have kids, you are going to find it hard to meet someone now - you've left it too late. You should just find anyone and marry them.

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It's just another prejudice. I know I have made things difficult for myself by nan not just for a Sikh but for a turbanned Sikh.

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There are more than 22, Sikhs in Hounslow, so probably 11, are men. Only a small proportion of them are in the right age group, and unmarried. And of those who are, many don't wear a turban.

The turban is important to me, though. Faith is important to me - the Sikh faith that says that men and women are equal and that we should not judge one another.

But nor do I want to meet men who want a housekeeper rather than a wife, and ask questions like, "can you cook? I am an independent person who wants a partner for companionship.

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Last month I was introduced to someone through a friend. It was a familiar story.

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He said he wasn't interested in a divorcee. He was in his 40s, but he expected women to come with no history.

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After meeting about 40 different men over the last 10 years, it's only in the last few months that I have begun to think about considering non-turbanned Sikhs, and even non-Sikhs. Some of my friends have already taken this step. By telling my story I am hoping I will help to remove the stigma of being a divorced woman. Maybe it will encourage more women to speak up.

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He left the country and is said to have died. She had studied travel and tourism at Thames University and was described as the cleverest in the family. xeeking

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She and Salman Mohammed met when he went to the family store after he arrived in Britain in the back of a lorry in Her brother helped him find lodgings and a job and Miss Nazir's relationship with him slowly developed. They kept it secret, knowing that her family would not approve. Miss Nazir was taken to Pakistan in to meet arranged suitors but rejected them. In January last year she realised that her feelings for Maan Mohammed were as strong as ever and decided to "grasp the nettle" and tell her family she wanted to marry him.

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Azhar Nazir was furious when she told him. Two days before she died, he told Salman Mohammed that he would kill him and Miss Nazir and threatened that he would "get him" anywhere if they married. Outside court, Det Insp John Reid said: "This young girl was killed simply because she fell in love with someone her family did not approve of. There is nothing at all honourable about her brutal death.

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The Metropolitan Police say they have dealt with five or six "honour-related" murder cases each year. The issue has led to a review of suspicious deaths of women for which no one was originally charged.

So far, four people have been charged and 14 other cases are still being investigated.

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