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The als they send fr with their eyes play a vital part in revealing their thoughts and attitudes. In fact, of all our body language als, the eyes reveal our thoughts and emotions most accurately. They're placed in the strongest focal position on the body, and because the pupils respond unconsciously to stimuli they can't be artificially manipulated or controlled. Your eyes are the gateway to the soul and reflect what's lpoking on inside of you. They're also the means of seeing what's going on inside of someone else. When people meet for the first time they make a series of quick judgements about each other, based largely on what they see.
When a femalf gaze meets yours for more than two-thirds of the time, it can mean one of two things: first, he finds you interesting or appealing, in which case he'll also have dilated pupils; or second, he's hostile towards you and could be issuing a challenge, in which case the pupils will be constricted. As lookung, women are good at deciphering pupil als and can differentiate interest from aggression, but men are ificantly worse at doing it.
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This is why the average man can't tell if a woman is about to give him a kiss or a slap in the face. If an ape is going to display aggression or is likely to attack, it will lock eyes onto its victim.
To avoid being attacked, the victim win look away and try to make itself appear smaller. Scientific evidence shows that submission behavior appears to be hardwired into primate brains for survival reasons. Under attack, we make ourselves appear smaller by hunching our shoulders, pulling our arms in close to the body, pressing our knees together and locking our ankles under a chair, dropping our chin to the chest to protect the throat and averting our gaze by looking away.
These gestures activate an 'off switch' in the brain of the aggressor and the attack can be avoided. This is an ideal position to take if you are being reprimanded by a superior when you actually deserve the reprimand, but it would be detrimental against a random street attack. From a person who is walking past a group of possible assailants in the street it would al fear and this can contribute to inciting an attack. If you walk upright with larger movements, swinging your arms and legs and having your front open, you will project that you could defend yourself if necessary and so are less likely to be attacked.
When it is combined with slightly raised eyebrows or a smile, it communicates interest and is frequently used as a courtship al, mostly by women. If it is clustered with down-turned eyebrows, furrowed brow or the corners of the mouth down-turned, it als a suspicious, hostile or critical attitude. Extended Blinking A normal, relaxed blinking rate is six to eight blinks per minute and the eyes are closed for only about one tenth of a second. People under pressure, as when they are lying, will usually elevate their rate of eye blinking substantially.
Extended blinking is an unconscious attempt by the person's brain to block you from their sight because they've become bored or disinterested or feel they are of a higher caliber than those around them. It's as if their brain can no longer tolerate dealing with you so their eyes shut for two to three seconds or longer to wipe you from sight and remain closed as the person momentarily removes you from his mind. Shutting you out Those believing they are a cut above you in social or economic class may tilt their head back, 'looking down one's nose' as it is known.
People feeling that their essential importance is not being recognized will also display this gesture. This is primarly a Western cultural gesture, more frequently found in those defining themselves in the upper social class. Darting Eyes When the eyes dart from side to side it can look as if the person is checking out the activity in the room but the reality is that the brain is searching for escape routes just as happens in monkeys and apesrevealing a person's insecurity about what is happening.
When you are with a particularly boring individual, your natural urge is to look away for escape routes. But because most of us are aware that looking away shows a lack of interest in the other person and als our desire to escape, we look more at the boring individual and use a Tight-Lipped Smile to feign interest. This behavior parallels what liars are doing when they increase their eye contact to appear convincing. The Geography of the Face The geographical area of a person's face and body that you gaze upon can also dramatically affect the outcome of a face-to-face encounter.
When you've finished reading this next section, try out the techniques discussed - without warning anyone - and you'll experience the powerful effect these skills can have. It takes about a week of practice for these eye techniques to become a normal part of your communication skills. This is the area of the face we look at in a non-threatening environment.
The other person will perceive you as non-aggressive. The Social Gazing area 2. The Intimate Gaze When people approach each other from a distance, they look quickly between the other person's face and lower body to first establish what the sex of the person is and then a second time to determine a level of lokoing in them. This gaze is across the eyes and below Attractivve chin to lower parts of the person's body. In close encounters, it's the triangular area between the eyes and the chest and for distant gazing it's from the eyes to the groin or below.
Men and women use this gaze to show interest in each other and those who are interested will return the gaze. We usually give two quick glances and then look at their face and, despite most people's strong denials about it, hidden camera studies reveal that everyone does it, including nuns. The Intimate Gaze zone As noted earlier, a woman's wider-ranging peripheral vision, however, allows her to check out Attrractive man's body from head to toe without getting caught.
Male tunnel vision is why a man will move his gaze up and down a woman's body in a very obvious way. This is also the fro why men are constantly accused of checking out women's bodies visually at close range but women are rarely accused of the same, even though research shows that women do more of it than men. It's not that men gawk more than women - men's tunnel vision means they keep getting caught. And, like it or not, everyone steals a look at a woman's rear when she leaves a room, femake if they don't like her Attractiive view.
Women's wider peripheral vision means femwle getting caught; Men's Tunnel Vision means always getting caught Then of course quite commonly For a man, it lets him give a woman the once over. For a woman, it has the dual purpose of letting her check him out and at the same time send a submissive al of looking away and down.
The Power Gaze The Power Gaze Imagine the person has a third eye in the center of their forehead and look in a triangular area between the person's 'three' eyes. The impact this gaze has on the other person has to be experienced to be believed. Not only does it change the atmosphere to very serious, it can stop a bore dead in their tracks. By keeping your gaze directed at this area, loking keep the screws firmly on them.
Provided your gaze doesn't drop below the level of their eyes, the pressure will stay on pooking. Never use this in friendly or romantic encounters. But it works a treat on the person who you want to intimidate or on the person who simply won't shut up. The Power Stare If you have soft, weak or wimpy eyes practice using the Power Stare to give yourself more authority.
When you are under attack from someone, try not to blink while maintaining eye contact. When you look at the attacker, narrow your eyelids and focus closely on the person. This is what predatory animals do just before they strike their prey. When you pan your eyes from one person to another without blinking it has an unnerving effect on anyone who watches you do it. Don't mess with the Terminator To do this, move your eyeballs first and then let your head follow, but your shoulders should remain still.
The Power Stare was used by Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator and can strike fear into the submiisove of would-be intimidators. Better still, have a policy of dealing only with pleasant people so you'll never need to whip out your Power Stare.
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The Politician's Story When someone looks around from side to side or will not look us in the eye when they talk, our trust in their credibility diminishes ificantly, even though they may be doing it because of shyness. A business associate had a politician as a client who was a novice at being interviewed on TV, constantly flicking his eyes between reporters and the cameras through an interview.
This had the effect of making him look shifty-eyed to third party viewers and each time Attarctive appeared on TV his popularity decreased. Through training him to look at only the reporter and ignore the cameras, his credibility increased. Another politician was trained to address his answers mainly to the lens of the television camera when he participated in a televised political debate.
While this alienated the studio audience guests it impressed millions of television viewers, who felt as if the politician was talking directly to them.
Look Deep Into My Eyes A social experiment was conducted using a dating service for a public media channel program. A selected of men were told that a woman was well matched to them and that they should expect to have a good time on a date. To make this connection interesting, each man was told that his date had submiiive an injury to one eye as which she was very sensitive about because the eye didn't track properly. The injured eye was unknown these men were told but if he looked closely he'd be able to pick it out.
Each woman was also told the mn story about her date and that if she too looked closely she'd be able to spot the slow eye. On their dates, the couples spent the evening gazing into each other's eyes searching in vain for the 'problem eye'. The First 20 Seconds of an Interview Many people are taught that, in a sales or job interview, you should maintain strong eye contact with the other person and keep it up until you are seated.
This creates problems for both the interviewer and interviewee because it's contrary to the process we like to go through when we meet someone new. A man wants to check out a woman's hair, legs, body shape and overall presentation. If she maintains eye contact it restricts this process so he's left trying to steal glances at her during the interview without getting caught and so he becomes distracted from the actual job of interviewing. Some women are disappointed that, in a supposedly equal foor world, men still do this, but hidden cameras show this to be a fact of business life whether we like it or not.
Video cameras also reveal that women interviewers go through the same evaluation process with both male and female interviewees but women's wider peripheral vision means they rarely get caught. Women are also more critical than men of female interviewees whose appearance doesn't stack up. Women look at a male candidate's hair length, clothes de and co-ordination, the creases in his pants and shine on his shoes. Most men are completely unaware that women look at the condition of the back of his shoes as he walks out.
Solution When you ror for an interview, shake hands and then give the interviewer a two- to three-second frame of uninterrupted time for them to complete the process of looking you over.
Look down to open your briefcase or folder, Attrative to arrange any papers you might need, turn to hang up your coat, Attrzctive move your chair in closer, and then look up. In filming sales interviews, we found that not only did the interviews feel better for the salespeople who used this strategy, it added up to a better outcome in sales. A person's eye movements can reveal what their mind is focusing on by telling you whether they are remembering something they have seen, heard, smelled, tasted or touched.
I have a job interview tomorrow. So, I really would like to begin a pleasant relationship with a mature, and secured lady that values the time we spend together, as well as understanding that i am an introverted person that values my alone time. Can you appreciate, accept, and respect that? If so, then we are already off to a good start. LOL I like all types of women of the melanated persuasion. I go on how our energy interacts with each other, and the vibe. In the bedroom, a Type A personality can experiment with power to see what it feels like to be told what to do.
Here are five important things you need to know about being dominated in the bedroom.
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Sex and love can go together, of course, but they can also run parallel; what happens in the bedroom can stay in the bedroom. And it gives you access to a wide range of experiences. Surrendering control to your lover in bed is a great opportunity to experience pleasure, so let go of the fear that he or she is secretly judging or losing respect for you. Green says that being ordered around in bed can be especially helpful for those who are used to being in control.